My views . . .

. . . on relationships.

My cousins (male- 21, female- 16) had a discussion tonight. We discussed the point of view from a male/female perspective.

I just want to say these are my views and no one elses (but I'm right).

As civilized as we think we are in this world, we are still a primitive race. Men still think with the little head and women . . . well women think with their hearts.

It's not until much later in a relationship that a man can . . . I said "can" . . . think with his heart. A man will not realize that using his heart to make a decision with his heart will be one of the most important decisions of his life.

I'm not talking about one decision. I'm talking about THE decision. Most men in my opinion (even married ones) have not made a heart-felt decision . . . ever!

I myself have made only one heart-felt decision in my life and it was THE most heart-wrenching decision in my life. The fact that I've not had another relationship in my life because of that has caused most of my family to question the fact of my sexual preferences.

I need to say it somewhere and I figure this is the best place to say it. Nobody knows who I am, and if you do . . . I don't give a fuck.

I've put up with my family thinking I was a homo (gay for you that don't know what a homo is in todays society). Even my mother thinks I may be gay.

It's been years since I've been in a relationship. I was in high school. I know that I should pursue a relationship, but I always have an excuse. Right now, my excuse it that I'm financially unfit to even consider a relationship.

I know that is not an excuse. But I use that to fortify myself from any pain that could be felt again from an emotional tear-up. I don't need that any more.

I am beginning to feel the emptiness of my emotional needs.

I've been fine all these years . . . why am I feeling these needs now?

I thought that I would be fine with having my family near me. That is not helping any more.

I see a lot of my friends with their partners and I can not hang around. I had no problem before. Is it a seasonal thing? I hope it is. I really don't need somebody in my life right now. Or maybe I do?

And the only reason I am posting this right now is that I wouldn't be doing this completely sober. I read somewhere that if I wanted to post something very personal, I should do it a little imbibed.

Yeah, I'm a little unsober. I just came home from polishing off a whole pitcher myself . . . with no food even!

GD

"I'm all fucked up"

So much for posting everyday!

Here we are.

Monday.

Vacation over.

Back at work!

Ppphhhhtt!

I didn't even get to finish the damn bike. I'm going to have to go to my local community college to take a welding course. I used to be a bad-ass at welding when I was in high school. Then again, that was about thirteen years ago. And I haven't touched a welding apparatus since that time. I burnt through three frames before throwing in the towel. It was horrible. Good thing the frames were practically free. I bought them at a last chance store for two bucks. Five frames in good condition for two bucks.

I could have put together some good bikes for the kids in the neighborhood to use.

But nooOOOoooo! I went and destroyed them all.

One of the classes available is one night a week for four and a half hours. Two credits. Not like I need them any more. But I do need a 'refresher' in welding because right now I have $500 in welding equipment that's junk until I learn how to use it.

"Classes start soon! Register Now!"

Done and done!

GD

"I am the Dog-Welder"

Vay-Kay . . . Day One

Well, guess what?

I accompanied my mom to a local thrift shop which I like to go to because they have a big selection of books that nobody buys. And I found three books which intrigued me.

Book #1 - Hominids: Volume One of the Neanderthal Parallax by Robert J. Sawyer
What's it about?
Neaderthals from a parallel universe are experimenting with quantum computers and a strange accident happens to transport a Neanderthal physicist to our universe.

Book #2 - The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton
What's it about?
Scientist tell the guv'ment to sterilize all space probes before study. A satellite falls to earth and bodies are found heaped everywhere near the crash site, faces "locked in frozen surprise".

Book #3 - The Cabinet of Curiosities by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
What's it about?
A charnel pit is discovered near a famed but lost Cabinet had been hidden. 36 dismembered bodies hidden for 130 years. Who did it?


I was gonna wait to read the books but we had a little barbecue for my dad yesterday and I began reading one of the books while I 'cued.

I got so engrossed in the book that I didn't go to sleep until after 3:30am this morning.

And then I woke up again a little after 9am and finished the damn book!

I was gonna begin the prep work for the bike today. Now I'm too tired to get started!

You should pick up Hominids. It's not a simple sci-fi story. I can now understand an atheists point of view a little more. It's a good book!

I may begin Crichtons' book tomorrow.

GD

I am goin' on Vay-kay!!!

I found out today that I've maxed out my vacation accrual hours. That means I can't save up any hours any more. I'm losing them to THE MAN.

I haven't had a chance to take any time off because of the craziness of things at work. If it's not one thing, it's another!

So I've come up with a remedy! I'm taking next week OFF! And my boss said it's ok!!! That's surprising as hell!

I'll still be posting from home, though. Luv my DSL!

And it's time to build my bike. I hope to have it done by Friday. Wish me luck! I'll post pics of it when it done.

GD

WOO HOO!!!

I knew I wasn't the only fan of Futurama!

So this morning I was checking out my Digg stories and one pops up at me.

Futurama Tag Lines!

You know, at the beginning of the show where it has the title of the show and "presented by" or "presented in" blah.

Below is the link. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did/do!!!

Futurama Tag Lines!!!!

Here we are.

It's barely Tuesday morning and I'm already planning my weekend.

It's nothing really important. I just want to drive. Especially if the weather gets better. It's been a little cold in the mornings here. But it warms up all right in the afternoon. 'Bout high 70's. And that stretch of road to Chowchilla (I know, I was just there), I just set the cruise control and blast The Pixies. Woo hoo!

I think the only reason I'm lookin' forward to the weekend is that right now I feel like crap.

My ear aches, my body aches and I just want to sleep. It's not the flu, fortunately. It's seasonal allergies. My sinuses get all tore up and that in turn causes my sinuses to fight back at everything else . . . just because. I've always had this problem since I was a kid. But as a kid, you don't really mind it too much. You forget a lot of this crap. It's just as an adult that you begin realizing how much of a pain in the ass it is to have these frickin' allergies! Keeee-ryste!

Uarghh!! Sorry about that. Ranting a little. Not your fault.

Gotta go. Have to do a couple of work reviews now. Wish me luck!

GD

NEED SLEEP!

Dune . . . and related ramblings.

Years ago, when I was a kid, I remember watching a movie on a local t.v. station (KTVU) about giant worms and black leather-clad sand people. When I found out the movie was called Dune, I looked for the book in the library and read it. Keep in mind that the whole political and reglious context of the book was way over the head of any 9 year old. But for me, it was an addicting story about this far off desert planet, teleporting spaceships and warring families.

When I finally was in high school and had learned a little more about life and such, I picked up the book and re-read the story with new eyes. Wow! There is a lot going on in that book I hadn't realized was there! I searched and found the other books Herbert had written in the Dune series. I always trip out on the subtleties of the story.

When Frank Herberts son, Brian, began co-authoring the newer Dune books with Kevin J. Anderson, the story was there . . . but not the smaller hidden details that Frank put into it. When Frank wrote the main story, the other part of the story was subliminal. Where Frank was using a quill, Brian and Kevin were using charcoal. The story was interesting because it was bold and in your face, but it didn't make you think.

I'd like to believe what Brian and Kevin have said. That they are using the notes Frank left behind to complete the Dune series, but I really don't know. I do gotta say though, the prequels have been really good.

The only reason I'm even writing about this is that there is a new re-release of the David Lynch / Alan Smithee version of Dune coming out soon and I think you should know about it. It should have been out this month, but there have been delays for one reason or another. One of them being that Lynch may actually be involved with this release somehow. That would be awsome simply because that movie is soooooo gooooood!

The movie, for the most part, is written for the person familiar with the Dune books . . . or a David Lynch fan! The soundtrack is incredible considering that Toto performs it. Do you know who Toto is? Ha! See? Anyway, the music is awesome, the visuals are incredible and it all complements itself so well.

Another reason I'm looking forward to it is that this is supposed to be the longer version of Dune that was shown when I was a kid. The version that made me pick up the book in the first place. The one scene that I always remember that isn't on any official version of the movie, is how the "Water Of Life" is milked out of a baby Arrakeen worm. Sure you can buy a bootleg of that version, but it'll look and sound like crap. I want a pristine version with all the bells and whistles!

I know that there is a six-hour version out there. But trust me . . . nobody wants to see a six-hour David Lynch movie. Don't get me wrong, David Lynch kick some major booty. But anybody . . . ANYBODY . . . watching six hours of David Lynch movies has some serious psychological problems that must be seen to. You either have problems or you will have problems after that much time with Mr. Lynch.

Well, I think that's enough rambling . . . until next time kiddies.

GD

Shai'hulud

Chowchilla = Bust!

Yup, that's right. Two hours of driving on a gorgeous day and I found a ton of razors.

But not ONE adjustable razor to be found!

But as Stuart Smalley would say, "That's . . . ok."

I wasn't able to find a good BBQ place at all, either. The one I'd heard about was closed Saturdays! What kind of shit is that!

Anyway . . . we ended up just going to a local Mexican food place. Not bad. Had a roasted-chicken burrito with all the fixin's. Very tasty.

I'm actually looking forward to going again in a couple of weeks. My mother wants to check it out. She likes lookin' for knick-knacks to fill up the back-yard with. We live in the middle of Salinas and she has a wagon wheel as a center-piece of one of her garden patches! I mean, I know Salinas is kinda well known for being part of the whole rodeo thing . . . but Salinas is an agricultural landmark. Not a western landmark!

Well, I hope your weekend was fun-filled and fancy-free (whatever that means).

GD

MAN! I want some barbeque!!! >:o(

Ok, this time I am going.

Maybe not to the flea market, but something similar.

I'll be driving over to Chowchilla.

"Why Chowchilla" you ask? Let me tell you why!

Antiques!

Last weekend as I was coming back from Delano, I passed a sign just as 99 merged with 152. It had big bold lettering stating that it had eight huge antique shops conveniently located in Chowchilla! What else could I do other than think about it this whole week between the activities of conflict resolution in the workplace. It was the one thing, I believe, that kept me sane and stable . . . other than the beer . . . and hockey.

I only drowned out this weeks problems with alcohol on Tuesday. I'm still sorta kinda payin' for it. I was a little too aggressive in hockey. I may have checked some guys, but they decided to check back . . . HARD! It was still a good way to release some aggression.

Anyway, I just want to enjoy this weekends drive to Chowchilla and try to look for a good take-out BBQ spot along the way. I feel like ribs . . . or skirt steak . . . or tri-tip . . . mmmmm! It's going to be (new word) scrumtrulescent!

GD

Bleaaaggghhhh.

Well . . . I decided to relieve some stress in the time honored tradition of drinking mass quantities of alcohol. Beer to be specific. And it wasn't even good beer at that. I was getting wasted on MGD. Bleagh!

I wish I could relieve stress another way . . . but the simplest (and definately easier to come by) way was to drink beer. I'm tired of being a mediator!

I gonna try getting rid of this stress by playing hockey tonight. I'm gonna strap on my rollerblades, put on my gear, grab my stick and smash somebody into the boards! No more MGD tonight!!!!!!

GD

bleagh!