Getting TOO lazy . . .

So I haven't run in two frickin' days!  Too much crap on the table to clear off for it.

Life sucks!

Not really, it can just be a little frustrating.  My mom owns a restaurant and my brother and sister are a tad nuts.  My brother works there now, but it took him a while to finally come to grips that he's an ADULT and he has to begin contributing to society in a POSITIVE way.  He drives my mom and the cook nuts with his temper tantrums, but he's slooooowly learning that he can't be acting that way at a place of employment.

My sister is another matter.  Her moods swing from manic to nuts.  We've tried to get her to help out at the restaurant, and she does ok, but then something happens and it's not a good idea to have her around my mom.  You how to two poles (as in polarity) work in electricity right?  They repel each other.  But in their case it's like two nuclear powered poles.

I'm not sayin' my moms nuts . . .

I'm just not sayin'.

Anyway . . . I have to play the buffer all the time.  When my mom breaks down because of either my sibs or something she misconstrued from my dad, I gotta be there to be shoulder so she can vent.  I've been doing this for YEARS.  As you may guess, this have left me emotionally jaded . . . stunted . . . whatever!

So when the daughter asked me to be her sponsor for Confirmation, I was left speechless and emotionally jarred.

The daughter had her orientation for Confirmation last Tuesday.  Her mom went with her and I went to pick up my godson from practice after my run since I was in the area.  It gave her time to clear her plate more comfortably and I really like helping her.  She does what she can for her kids as a single mother and sometimes she has to be at opposite ends of town at the same time.  I'm just glad I happen to be at one end of town to pick up my godson.  It also gives me a reason go run those days.

After picking him up we went to get something to eat at Subway.  He grabbed a foot-long which he wolfed down in a matter of minutes. I got one of their new salads, the turkey/avocado thing.  I grabbed it with the works and it was 4HB friendly.  Tasty!  My cousin was still at the orientation with the daughter and I had to pick up a couple of cases of chicken for my mom, so off I went.

After I dropped off the chicken, my godson and I headed back to his home.  We waited outside a few minutes before my cousin and the daughter showed up.  We went inside and they started talking about how long the orientation was and how well developed the program was and what they were looking forward to and then the daughter mentioned how they were asked to find someone they could trust to be their sponsor for their confirmation.  And I'm like "wow" and "cool".  But she was looking at me sheepishly with shit-eating grin.

I'm a bit dense.

Her face dropped and then I got it. D'oh!  I went to her and gave her a huge hug and apologized that I didn't get it right away and said I'd be happy to be her sponsor.  My cousin was smiling while the daughter began talking about ALL the events that were going to happen, the trips to Yosemite and Disneyland . . .

And all I could think to say after that was I'd better start saving up.  I don't know if the daughter caught it, but I think my cousin did.

A bit of a faux-pas.

The daughter had a football game to cheer last night and my mom needed help at the restaurant.  One of her dogs was ill and she wanted me to get out of work early to help.  I've got work and bosses and I don't think telling them my mommy needs me will give me a "get-outta-work-early" card.  I tried to finish up in good time, but it didn't happen and I didnt leave until around 5pm.  My mom was already back at the restaurant, but she still wanted a bit of help.  I stuck around til 6:30 and then went to the daughters game.

Have I mentioned that my mom doesn't like the daughter or her mom.  Yeah, some of the most important people in my life cannot see each other.  My cousin and the daughter love my mom, but my mom is jealous of them and has not spoken to them in several years.  She thinks my cousin is taking advantage of me when migrates to Yuma and leaves the daughter with me.  I think of it as a break from the insanity of my life.  There is alway a fire to put out and I. Am. Burnt. OUT!

I look forward to that and the schedule will not be as crazy this year.  She's not in her cheer/dance crew this year and cheerleading is not as hectic with the schedules.  It'll still be a full plate, but it's a plate that's a bit more manageable than years past.  I'm looking forward to it.

I'll be running tonight and hopefully there'll be no fires to put out.  I'm still figuring out this emotional issue I have, but at least I can say I'm happy someone put that kind of trust in me.  I guess my cousin would fall in that as well, she does ask me to take care of her daughter for several months.  She knows my vices are relatively harmless and are along the same as hers (food and beer), so I guess she feels confident that I'll do my best to support her and her daughter in this.  I can actually say I'm happy about this. 

It's not just a getaway from the craziness of my usual stuff, I think I need this.  I think I need someone to need me in this way.  I do feel like a dad to my godson and the daughter.  I wish I could do more for them and only them.

My mom has had her life . . . I want mine.

GD

p.s.
lazy, but run smiley!