How was your Memorial Day?

Aside from the shameful watching of "Project Runway", yesterday was the highlight of the weekend.

I love driving. So Sunday night my grandmother calls and asks my mom if she could take her to Delano. It's a good three hour trip and my mom doesn't really take to driving so long. She asked me if I wanted to take her. So . . . guess what I did yesterday?

It was a GREAT day to go driving. Clear skies (one or two clouds here and there), warm to hot the closer south and inland you went. Hardly any traffic, which was a surprise.

Once we got to Delano, I visited the cousins, said hello to my aunt and split.

I took another route home so I can visit some other family members in Los Banos. It's about two hours from Delano and from Los Banos, it's a little over an hour home. So it wasn't too much off from my original trip.

I must say Tesla did well. She appears and feels like she can run forever (knock on wood). Boy! I love my bug!

GD

It's like I have to make sure the rumors are true!

Even though they aren't.

As I type this, I'm watching the last episode of the full day marathon of "Project Runway".

Oh. My. God!

It's like I can't find something better to do on a gorgeous Sunday!

GD

Sux to be supervisor!!!

I guess that why I get paid the "big" bucks.

Today I had to hear one of my direct reports complain about my other direct report. Having spoken with the 'other' party, I'm gonna have to bring in the HR rep to mediate this problem. I got a feeling the word 'termination' will be uttered.

I've got to say it, but the 'other' party is in the wrong here. He doesn't want to make an effort to fix the situation. He plain and simply doesn't like her. He actually said he 'hates' her.

My boss will not do anything about it. He didn't even want me to bring in the HR rep so I suggested to the complainer (not derogatory) to e-mail the HR rep so I wouldn't get in trouble by going over his head. Oh the games we must play!

I had to get this off of my chest. I needed somewhere I could vent and I didn't really want to "tell" somebody. I apologize if I burdened you with a complaint.

Here is a joke to lighten the end of this read. Stop reading if you've heard this one or if you get easily offended (By the bye, my mom and my grandmother on my dads side were both born in Mexico):

Q: How do you stop black kids from jumping on a bed?
A: You put velcro on the ceiling!

Q: How do you get them back down?
A: Tell a bunch of blindfolded mexican kids they're piñatas!

Q: How do you clean up the mess after?
A: Tell a bunch of philipino kids it was a dog fight!

(I'm gonna end up taking the express train to hell if I keep this up!)

GD

Urban legend?

A while back I remember reading something that had been posted on Digg that was supposed to be true. Recently I came upon a copy of that same article and it got me to thinking: It's too strange to actually have been true.

So, I googled some of the more important parts of the article and came up with waaayyyyyy too many hits. MY thinking is that somebody made it up and a lot of people took it for gospel. And even if it isn't true, it's still funny! Tell me what you think, real or not?

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HELL BONUS QUESTION

(The following is an actual extra credit question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.)

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Note: Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time, i.e.,we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I believe we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the

temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year—that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then it cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

( The student received the only "A" given.)

"What's a wetshaver?"

A month or two (or three) ago there was an article in MSN about the pursuit of the perfect shave. I didn't know about it because I rarely even check out my Hotmail account. The only reason I found out about it was because I saw it in Digg.

As with most of the people that may have read about it, shaving was a necessity. Something that most people have to torture themselves with several times a week. Some people have to do it EVERY DAY. Fortunately, at the time, I wasn't one of those people.

After reading the article there were several links as to where to get more information and find support groups (my wording).

Wetshaving is a process of shaving methodically and enjoyably (sp). Most of the process is mainly directed towards the male. But having read through the forums, women can and have used the tips given by the wetshaving community.

The main tools in wetshaving are as follows:

A good quality shaving brush (to make a good hefty lather)
A good quality shaving soap or cream
A good quality razor (A DE - double/dual edge, or a straight razor)


Those are just the basics. Many wetshavers are completely dedicated to the process and have accumulated several hundreds of dollars of equipment and supplies. I personally have spent less than fifty bucks total in my equipment. I purchased a brush for thirty-five bucks, found a horrendous looking razor for five bucks and bought some decent soap for five bucks.

The razor was badly crusted and wouldn't use it on my worst enemy. But I know a few tricks. I soaked and cleaned the razor in a hot solution of water and Alconox (laboratory cleanser) for a few hours. After it was done, the razor came out gleaming. I wasn't done yet, though. I placed it in an autoclave for twenty minutes to finish sterilizing it. The razor is now a thing of beauty!

If you check out the Wetshavers link, go to the Wetshavers FAQ section and choose General. There is a LOT of information to be gleaned by reading. I got a ton of info and it has helped make my shave more enjoyable.

GD

p.s.
hope this answers your question Erin.

Quick update.

Didn't have a chance to go to the flea market after all. Too nice a weekend to blow at a flea market to find a stupid razor. I'll find one next week.

GD

And the addiction gets worse!

It's not a chemical dependance. No need to worry! I'll just be running all over Monterey and Santa Cruz counties to find a soon to be cherished Gillette Adjustable DE razor!

I'm obsessed with finding one. The ones on eBay are going for too much! Damn wetshaving addiction!!!! >: (

I'll also be going to the Santa Cruz flea market tomorrow morning to look. Wish me luck.

Maybe, one day, I'll explain the whole deal with wetshaving. It just feeeeels . . . soooo . . . goooood.

I'll post tomorrow and let you know what happend.

GD

Yes. I am a nerd. part ii - I waited in line . . .

. . . for four and a half hours. Ep. III was almost worth the wait.

The movie starts off with a bang. Very entertaining.

Things get a little slow for a bit then picks up again.

Another slow bit, and then a smash/bang finale. Kick ASS!!!

The very end of the movie. Hmmph. How can I describe it? It kinda tasted of cheese.

GD

p.s.
I did say I wouldn't give details. ; p

Yes. I am a nerd.

Tonight's the night. Of all the boring things that can be done on a Wednesday night, I'll be waiting in line at the local megaplex for Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

I was planning on watching the midnight showing of the movie, but that was sold out last week. I ended up picking up tickets to the 12:10 showing instead. Damn! I've gotta wait 10 minutes after the first group?! Anyway, I've got my foldable chairs in my car waiting to be used. I'm not going alone though. Unfortunately it's not a female companion to share in the joy that is Star Wars.

I've read a review by Kevin Smith, and the one line that sticks in my head is "This is the movie fanboys have been waiting for since Phantom Menace", or something like that. As soon as I get outta work, I'm gonna meet Ernie (my bud) at Round Table for pizza and beer. After that, the waiting begins.

I'll post my personal review of the movie tomorrow. I won't go into too much detail, I'll just let you know if it's worth the eight to ten bucks you have to pay for the movie.

GD

Thank God I'm back!!!

As you know, Thursday was the beginning of my weekend. It didn't go as good as I'd hoped.

Thursday night I went home and was immediately bombarded and told we were leaving ASAP. I was gonna take my time to pack and I ended up throwing everything I needed into a backpack. I didn't forget anything I must say. So we split Salinas by ~5:30pm and arrived in Los Banos about 6:30pm. We (my mother, brother and I) picked up my aunt and were on the road by 7pm.

Averaging 80mph (about 129kph for you in the Great White North) on I-5, we arrived in Chula Vista, CA at ~12:30am. Pretty kick-ass time in my opinion. I rarely took the car off cruise-control during the trip.

Now when I said we were going to San Diego in the previous post, that was the initial plan. My mother got the bright idea of going ahead and taking a visit south of the border to visit my sister. My sister lives in Tijuana with her husband (psycho mofo) and her baby boy (1yr old). She has another boy on the way and is due in mid August (it's those terribly mild weeks in November that brings us Augustans out). Though we were going to VISIT, it didn't mean we were gonna stay south of the border for ANY reason. So we went to Chula Vista and got a couple of rooms at a very nice Days Inn right off of I-5. Easy highway access! : )

Later that Friday morning, after getting a few hours of sleep, we went across the border on Mexicoach. Mexicoach is a bus company that allows one to leave a car in their parking lot (surrounded by security) and go across the border on their bus for cheap without having to worry about getting shit stolen if one had decided to take one's car across the border or waiting for HOURS at the border to try to get back across in those atrocious lines without having an inspection done.

Whew! Sorry about that . . . anyway, as I was saying:

So we waited in TJ in the Mexicoach depot for my sister to show up. It's been a long time since I last saw my sister and she looked radiant. She glowed. Motherhood did wonders for her. Her baby boy was gorgeous. A rambunctious little bugger, too! Kept on running this way and that! We said our hellos and went to their car.

Picture this, I'm "big boned" and so is my aunt. My sister is pregnant. So . . . my sister, her husband, her baby, my aunt, my mother, my brother and I were all to squeeeeze into a Honda Civic Si. Believe it or don't, we all fit. After and uncomfortable 20 minute drive, we got to my sisters' place. We had a few refreshments and my brother in law suggested we go to Ensenada. He got a hold of another car from somewhere and we took off, a little more comfortable on this ride . . . until we got back on the road.

I swear, the guy took . . . every . . . single . . . pothole he could find. And stop signs?! What stop signs?!! And to fan the flames even further, he started drinking beer on the way! I couldn't take it any more. The guy has always been an asshole and he'll never change! I told him off! He just laughed it off saying that there was no need to worry. He's got connections with the cops all over this part of Mexico. I obviously wasn't worried about the cops, I was worried about our lives! He kept drinking all the way to Ensenada.

When we got there, my brother and I separated from that crazy bastard and toured the shops on our own. We were there a couple of hours when we finally decided we should leave.

This is where it got REALLY hairy. As we're driving back on the fudged up highway, it's getting dark and my brother in law says everything will be "OK". He goes on to say that he has reeeealllly bad night vision . . . and laughs! We thought he was trying to kid around, he wasn't. He was swerving all over the place on the way TO Ensenada and it was even worse on the way back to TJ.

We eventually made it back in one piece, but we made it back 12 minutes too late. The last Mexicoach bus leaves the TJ station at 9pm. We had to walk back across to good'ol U.S. of A. We really didn't have to wait too long though, mostly everyone was getting ready to party in TJ that Friday night so the walk back was fairly quick. I was sad to have left my sister, but I was done with TJ for a while.

The rest of the trip was ok. We visited Universal City and ended up going to the Universal Studios theme park. It was pretty neat! Last time I was there, I was sixteen. With the cost of entrance, you qualified for a 2005 pass. All you gotta do is fill out some info, get your photo taken and the park gives you a 2005 pass. Of course, there are blackout dates. Only on weekends for the most part. But the rest of the year, you're golden!

I think I may take another trip next month. If I go visit my sister, I'm stayin' near the Mexicoach station and checking out the shops near it. There is plenty of places to eat and shop. I ain't goin' nowhere with my brother -in-law!

GD

p.s.
Please excuse the grammer. I didn't check it this time.

T.G.I.Th.

Boy, the last couple of days have been insane. I'm so glad that at the end of today, my weekend begins! I'm goin' to San Diego tonight to visit my sister.

MMI, the company I work for has a problem keeping us up to date technologically. If you're not at the corporate office, you're five years behind. A couple of weeks ago we finally got the approval to purchase a new PC for our analytical lab. We have a specialized database that was created in Access 2.0.

Access 2.0 for those of you not in the 'know' was part of Office 6.0. Office 6.0 was made for Windows 3.11.

Let that sink in a bit . . .

When corporate finally let us be only a couple of years behind and got us a PC that was an AMD K6-2 running at 433MHz in 1999, we were happy. Until we tried using the database. The 'new' PC had Office '97. Office '97 didn't like the taste of the database and kept on spitting out these errors. I informed the MIS department at corporate and asked them if they could figure it out. They couldn't.

So . . . with my knack at hammering at things until they work, I broke out the sledgehammer and got the database to work in Office '97!

Now we're five years behind (kinda, if not more) and we were still running that AMD K6-2 on its last legs. We received a BRAND NEW DELL PC that is running Office 2003. Can you guess where this is going?

Sure enough, even with the assurances from corporate that we were NOT going to have ANY problems converting the database over to 2003, I knew we were.

Guess what?

Since Tuesday afternoon I've been swinging away with that sledgehammer and I've got most of the kinks out of the database . . . except for probably the most important part. The Client Report. That is the Analytical labs lifeblood. If we can't send that out to our client farms, we're screwed.

In the meantime I'm going to have to copy and past data into Word and send out a crappy lookin' report. But if I know our clients, they don't care about looks. Think about it . . . mushroom growers? They just want clear numbers. I can give that to them.

Now I apologize, but I must leave. I've gotta get back to swingin' the hammer . . .

GD

Morning. Time for Spanish lit.

This is from one of the blogs I read. Unfortunately it's in spanish. The title is "Ene, Ce, Ese" or "N, C, S". It can be translated but it wouldn't have the same impact. The blogger is La Princessa Radioactiva.

Check it out. You'll like it.

Ene, Ce, Ese

Nada, nunca, no, nariz, necesitar, nihilismo, natural, negativo, noviazgo, necio, neutro, nulidad, niño, niña, necesitar, nivelar, nicho, nervios, navegar, núcelo, noble, nube.

Nosotros.

Calentura, cuidar, crimen, corsetería, cosquillas, creíble, contender, consejo, conjunto, comprometer, compenetrar, combinar, coerción, claro, carcajada, calmar, corporal, candor, cómico, comprensión, contar.

Contigo.

Salvaje, sable, sacrificio, salivar, sangrar, sana, sabor, sentada, sanatorio, serena, sesos, sentir, soberbia, sonora, sanatorio, solitaria, sombría, sudor, sueño, susurro.

Sintigo.

"Wubba, wubba, wubba! Good night! God Bless!"

Everybody have a good weekend, and good luck on the training Erin!

GD

It's gonna be a good weekend (knock on wood).

It's been a while since I've had a FULL week. This definately counts as one. Even though my busy-ness began Tuesday, I'm counting it as a full week because of the trend analyses for all the farms. I just finished those right before lunch. WOO HOO! I rewarded myself with a kick ass chicken tostada at Sarita's (decent mexican food).

After getting back to the lab, I went to check out some of our testing rooms to find out how some of our treatments are doing. There seems to be a lot of promise in one particular strain. I gave the good news to my boss. Boy, did that ever make his day. He's been stressing over tiny things lately. I hope this bit'o'news helps out.

Also, I'm gonna watch Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy tonight. I read the book years ago, I've been busy but tonight is a good night to watch the movie. Hardly anybody at the theater tonight. It's gonna be excellent!

Tomorrow's looking good, too. I'll be running a TH4 and verticillium PCR in the morning and by the afternoon, the gel should be done and I'll have the results for the requesting farm by the time I'm done for the day!

Aaaaand . . .

My uncle told me last night that his boys (23 and 25) will be racing their bikes at the Salinas Sports Complex, Friday and Saturday night. Tickets are cheap, beer isn't. It all works out in the end. I'll be tailgating!



Now time for another joke. This one requires a visual aid. What I want you to do when I say "NOW", make a fist with either hand and place your fist on your nose with the opening on the thumb side wrapping around your nose. This works better if you're telling it to someone. Trust me.

Now for the joke:

"Why don't roosters wear underwear?"
"Because their pecker's up" (NOW!) "HERE!"

GD

boy, that was bad!

This one's for Baabblu

Why do brides wear white?
So she can match the stove and refrigerator.

Pa da pump!

GD

p.s.
i feel a little guilty about that one.

Losing . . . focus! Must . . . stay . . . awake!

There is something that I have to do at work every few months:

Trend reports! These things are the most boring pieces of crap you can look at if you're not a mushroom grower.

Though I was a grower for a while, being a grower is not my cup'o'tea. I understand all the numbers and the graphs that go with the trend reports. I know what the growers are looking for. I just hate having to copy, paste and edit all the data so it all makes sense to the grower. Under the whole MMI, Inc umbrella, there is maybe . . . mayyybeee . . . two other growers that would be able to sort out all the information direct from our database. And of those two, I think only one of them knows how to copy, paste and edit from Access to Excel.

Each one of these damned things takes an hour to do. And guess what? Thats with me using the last report as a template. I open up the previous report and I copy the data from Access and paste that data to the old Excel report and edit the hell out of it. If I were to start from scratch (IF!) it would easily take me three hours per report.

I've got ten to do. I'm lucky most of the other farms don't need them. They do their own.

I've completed three this morning.

Lord help me . . .

GD

New image . . .

I figured it was time to change my profile image. I'd like to thank Sarahbelle for the link to Planearium.

Chances are that Sarahbelle has no idea who I am because I've never commented on her blog nor do I know her. I feel like a stalker just reading her blogs. I read them because they really are funny at times. I try to bookmark any good funny blogs I happen to chance upon. Anyway . . . try to make up your own Southpark character. I showed the image to one of my friends and he thought I had somehow got Matt Stone to draw me Southpark style. It's a pretty good resemblance of me.

GD

p.s.
move mouse over About Me on the top left of this blog.

Too heavy . . .

Ok, the last few posts have been a little heavy. Let's change it up a little . . .

Guy 1: OH MY GOD!! Did you hear?!!!!
Guy 2: No. What?
Guy 1: It's been all over the radio! Michael Jackson just died of food poisoning!
Guy 2: What?!! No way!
Guy 1: Yeah! He ate a ten year old weiner!

Ba da pump!

Here's another one, but this works out better telling it to someone in person. My barber told me this one.

Guy: Did you know that Micheal Jackson is tired of all the child molestation charges and the whole court issue that he's now going after twenty-eight year olds?

That's my time for tonight. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Ba da pump!

GD

Mother II

Ok, I reread that last post and I want to clear up something.

I know who my mother is. Here's the thing: My mother gave me up to my father and his wife when I was six because I was a pain in the ass and I screwed up her plans. My fathers' wife is the person I now consider my mom. My mother is my biological mother and my mom is the person who raised me since I was six. She put up with all my shit growing up and she still considers me her son.

In all that time, my mother has sought me out only a few times and then dissappeared.

I had a brother who would have been 26 this year. He passed on a couple of years ago.

By his own hand.

I blame my mother.

I didn't know my brother.

He was in juvenile hall somewhere in California since the age of 14. He took the blame for the "accidental death" of a friend of his. Eventually word got out that the person that caused the accident was an uncle of mine. He let my brother take the blame. He told other family members what really occured and nobody said anything. My own mother knew of it and she still let my brother rot in juvenile hall. My uncle was later shot and killed in a failed home robbery a few years after my brother was sent to juvenile hall. I don't really know my mothers' side of the family. My father wouldn't allow me to communicate with them. You can see why. Most of them are all fuck-ups.

Anyway, during all this I wasn't allowed to write to my brother. Nobody would let me know where he was. I was told that it was better this way.

I don't know when he was let out. It was sometime in the last few years. My brother had been wanting to visit me, but my mother said it wouldn't be a good idea to bother me. This is what I've been told by one of my mothers' sisters. She is one of my aunts on my mothers' side that actually followed the straight and narrow. My aunt kept telling my brother to visit me just the same. That it wouldn't be a burden.

I wish he would have listened to her.

My brother really loved the uncle that put him in junenile hall. He looked up to him for some reason.

The morning that he shot himself, my brother asked for my uncles favorite breakfast. That was a huge red flag there and my mother missed it. After having breakfast, he went to his room, pulled out a .22 and tried to finish his days on earth. It didn't quite work out too well.

He survived almost twenty hours on life support before my mother decided to take the advice of doctors. He was brain-dead. It was another five hours or so before his body decided to give up.

I tried to have some sort of relationship with my mother after that . . . but I couldn't keep doing it. She's made too many bad decisions. And as far as I'm concerned, only one good one. I could have been a major fuck-up myself if she hadn't been so selfish and given me up. I look at her and I always think what could have been.

I could have gone to baseball games with my brother.

I could have taught him how to rollerblade and play rollerhockey.

We could have gone to the bars, had a few beers, talk to some girls . . .

We could have been great friends. I could have had the relationship I see with my best friends and their brothers. I don't have that opportunity now.

But I do have another chance. I have another younger brother. He's 15. I have to make the most of it with him. You never know what may happen.

GD